How to use a Dyson Airblade™

File this one away under petty things I tried not to blog about but I couldn't help myself.

Like most self respecting humans I always take the time to wash and dry my hands after using the facilities. I'm more than capable of washing and drying my hands but it has come to my attention that for some reason people do not understand how to use a Dyson Airblade™ to dry their hands. I hear comments like "Ergh, my hands are still wet" and "This thing is useless". Unacceptable.

As a fellow human who always walks away from a Dyson Airblade™ with perfectly dry hands I have taken the liberty of writing this short guide so that you too can enjoy silky smooth, dry hands, in just 15 seconds. Wonderful.

Step One

Insert your dripping wet hands all the way into the hand dryer. We want to the air to currently be blasting somewhere around your wrists, higher than any water currently on your skin. Ensure your fingers are parted to allow air to flow between them.

Step Two

Slowly begin to raise your hands out of the dryer whilst counting to 15. We're going to spend a whole 15 seconds drying your hands because no, it doesn't run on black magic that can do it in 3 seconds despite what some of you seem to think.

Step Three

As the air approaches your fingertips do not jump the gun and remove your hands. Continue to slowly remove your hands until you feel the air scrape the last bits of water from the very tips of your fingers. This should happen at around the 15 second mark.


Observe that your hands are both clean and dry at the same time. How spectacular.

Finally, leave the bathroom by gripping a bacteria infested, probably wet door handle and pulling lightly. You are free.

Now go wash your hands again in a room with no doors.